Self Friendship on a Soulful Sunday

Enchantment is most likely to occur in our lives when we explore the world through our own agency and sovereignty. So why don’t more of us occasionally date ourselves?

A day at Longwood Gardens to see the tulips at peak bloom and indulge in a foodie experience at their 1906 Restaurant rendered my heart as full as my stomach.

And while I had no intention to write about my experiences today, on the drive home I considered how we all need a bit more beauty and friendship right now. And a whole lot more self love.

So come on a walk with me.

Through the gorgeous tulips.

I have a few stories to share with you…

Do you ever take yourself on a date?

Enchantment is most likely to occur in our lives when we explore the world through our own agency and sovereignty. So why don’t more of us occasionally date ourselves?

Twenty years ago, I would dread when my spouse traveled. Some invisible hole inside of me would need to be filled with plans to be with other people while she was gone. I did not want to be alone.

Through the wisdom of age, spiritual growth, and the gift of life’s journeys, I now cherish my Heather time.

So this week, while Deborah is traveling internationally for her work, I made plans to spend Easter Sunday doing some of my favorite things: immersing myself among plants and beautiful flowers, eating a delicious meal from a chef’s tasting menu, and spending time with one of my favorite people: me.

That might sound funny because our culture doesn’t seem to allow us that privilege without calling it conceit. And that is precisely why everything is so upside down. We need to enthusiastically embrace more self love in this world.

Part of my prayer for all of humanity is for each of us to love ourselves more. Because when we do, that light shines out to others and has an enormous ripple effect.

Surprise and Delight

I spent the entire day walking around with the biggest smile on my face. I was present to myself, the people around me, and the nature whose beauty was astounding every single sense I possess. I was teeming with awareness and eager to see how I would be surprised and delighted by my interactions with strangers.

I leaned down to sniff a purple hyacinth and take a deeper wash of her perfume. My nose met another woman who was doing the same and we giggled at each other. We talked about the stunning aroma of this flower. And then this woman remarked with a tone of sadness, “They are my favorite flower, but no one gave me one for Easter.” I lovingly asked, “Why don’t you be your own best friend and buy one for yourself?” She looked at me with genuine surprise. It’s like the thought never occurred to her. And once it did, she smiled in a way that made me think a little part of her is going to be a different woman now.

We do not need someone else to fill us up. It is okay to take up space; to have needs; to to know what we want and to give ourselves permission to have it. Put your own oxygen mask on first!

I loved it when my ears heard the proclamation of a small girl exclaim, “Mommy, Mommy, please take pictures of all of these pretty flowers for me. I want to draw them when we get home!” Ah, yes!! Thank you, little one, for reminding me to see these flowers with beginner’s eyes and to remember how much, I, too, used to like to draw flowers as a child. Get out that sketch book this week, Heather.

Ah, and then the turtles.

I stood on a bridge that crossed the hourglass lake and watched with such delight as two turtles spun and clumsily fell — repeatedly! — off a log while sunbathing. A collection of people had stopped to laugh and enjoy this together. One man in his thirties said, “I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed watching anything more than this. I could stay here all day.” There was an affirmation from this group of strangers gathered on the bridge. We resonated with his truth and the gift that comes from such simple pleasures in nature. For at least that moment, none of us were fretting about the state of our nation. And in the sharing of this experience, our hearts felt connected.

I was reconnected with my child-like wonder at every turn — from the orchid room to the new bonsai exhibit, the string quartet playing in the conservatory, or the explosion of color and smells everywhere.

And then there was the meal. Oh my soul. While every course was insanely delicious, it was the dessert that had all the surprise and delight: a peanut butter and caramel mousse that was served inside a chocolate egg on an edible nest of sugary straw sticks. Friends, this decadence was so worth the splurge. And fun, fun, fun!

And so, yes, while my absolute favorite thing would have been to have my beloved with me on this beautiful day, I have really grown to understand what is so special about occasionally putting in the same effort to plan a date for and with only me.

I hope in my sharing, you find encouragement to do the same. Go love on your beautiful self!